The Thinking Game

It’s a head smog type of day. The kind where I sit and try and capture all the thoughts that seem to be circling in my brain in storm mode. It all seems a blur. All the thoughts I have appear to be out of reach. They all seem unattainable. I’m thinking about all the things I want in life. All the things I don’t have yet. All the things I wish were different. All the things I want changed. All the things that I think would bring me joy in life. All the things that would make me think “now life is good”.

*Having my own house would be great! I have moved ten times in the last 6yrs and I am tired of constantly moving and always feeling like I never have time to unpack.

*I’d love to have a husband and kids. I want a family.

*I want to travel and experience and see the world.

*I want to be a better communicator.

*I want to stop having to surrender the same things over and over and over again.

*I want to get it right the first time.

None of the things that I want are bad things. But I have been learning that God won’t supply things because I think they are good. Did you catch those two words? I think. I am so good at believing the lies from the enemy that tell me that I know what is for my best. That God is holding out on me. But I don’t have a clue what is for my best. I don’t know at all. How could I possibly know when I don’t even know what will happen in 2 minutes from now?

But God definitely knows what I need and when I need it. Since He is my heavenly Father, He doesn’t sit up on His throne thinking… hrm… how on earth can I mess with my daughter today? What type of horrible gift can I give her today?

Psalm 84:11

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Philippians 4:19

And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalms 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Sometimes the desires of my heart are not what my Father thinks is good for me. Sometimes I desire things that are not meant for me. How would I know what His desires for me are? Let’s look at this verse again.

Psalms 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

This is our main purpose in life! To delight ourselves in the Lord. To seek God’s kingdom! The Greek for seek means to investigate or get to the bottom of. How would that look for you to investigate? To become a detective and truly seek? To find? To locate those clues and missing pieces in your life? How would that look for you?

This is so vital! God has your best interests at heart. He truly does. Even though you go through a struggle and can’t see how it could possibly be for your good, He wants nothing but the best for you. He will supply ALL your needs. He will give you EVERY good gift. He will give you the desires of your heart. But what is the pre-requisite? Seeking. Chasing. Investigating. Delighting. Having a loving relationship with your heavenly Father. When we seek Him, delight in Him, and chase Him first above all else; we will see what His heart and His desires are for us.

For me seeking/delighting looks like sitting down and just spilling my guts onto a page in my journal, or sitting outside and talking to God out loud. It means seeking Him first thing in the morning in order to rid myself of my crazy morning whirlwind thoughts. It looks like learning to sit still and be quiet and let Him speak to me. It means taking time away from the craziness of life to just be with Him. Opening up His word (the Bible) and reading to discover more about Him. After just being with Him, I find what was once chaotic seems to not really matter anymore. Especially after remembering and reflecting on His character. Sometimes I will hound Him with the same question over and over and over and over and over again waiting for an answer… He almost never gives the answer I want… But, He always gives me the answer I need. Sometimes it seems funny when He simply just tells me that He loves me or that He is with me and though it didn’t answer anything… it puts my soul at rest.

There are so many things I want in life, but He always reminds me that what I want most is Him. He will fill my void. And when I seek Him - truly seek Him - He calms my restless heart. He will bring about the best in my life.

What is stopping you from being still and sitting with the Lord today? Telling Him all the things you want and opening up your heart to Him? If He were here now, wouldn’t you do that with Him? Sit and chat and tell Him all the things you want and love in life? So go to Him now! Tell Him those things. And then tell Him that you will expect Him to do what is for your best. That though you want things that are “good”, you realize they may not be for your good or for your best. Or it may not be time for them yet. He has a reason He hasn’t given you those things you want. Thank Him for always being good. Thank Him for the times when He has supplied what you wanted. Thank Him for always allowing what needs to happen in your life happen. Thank Him for always having a plan. Thank Him for knowing the perfect timing for gifts. Thank Him for providing even in the midst of a struggle.

His timing is always perfect. His gifts are always perfect. Always what you need and when you need it.