Even so, it is Well
I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a bit of a control freak because I always end writing about God’s plans vs. mine (His are always better), how hard it is for me to let go (really really hard, actually), and yep… that was me behind the “trust” topic for the first She Gathers (you’re welcome).
I just like my plans a lot and I’m not good at accepting when they are just not… mine to have.
This week I had a moment. Y’all… it was a bad one. A “knuckles-turn-white because you’re gripping so hard” moment. A “literal fall-on-your-face and then just lay there and pout about it” moment. A “tantrum”, if you will, because I just did not get my way.
Now before you stop reading because you think I’m CRAZY, those were all just fun little metaphors to paint the picture of all the crazy going on in my mind. But on the outside… I kept it cool. I hope. (But please don’t ask my husband because he may lie and tell you that I am in fact crazy.)
But here’s the thing. This isn’t a one-and-done lesson in my life. The Lord is constantly teaching to me trust Him because I hear that His plans are good. I really do. I have such good head knowledge of it, but I still live like mine are better. And that’s pride right there. Big ol’ selfish pride.
I listened to a portion of a sermon by Jonathan Merritt today, and he said this:
“God does not intend to meet our expectations. He intends to meet our needs.”
Woah. That shook me.
I know God isn’t a genie that grants my wishes, and I know that there will be troubles in life and things that don’t always go my way. But what I need to understand is that I will never have less than what I need. He’s my protector, provider, and so much more.
But sometimes I overlook that when I am SO. FOCUSED. ON. ME. I forget that He is taking care of the things that matter and the things that I think matter may not be the things that are in fact the best for me.
He is a good, good Father, and even when it hurts because our plan doesn’t work out, He is still good and He is still in control. Disappointments in life are unavoidable, but we must face our disappointments with more than a pity party or blame game. I’m so guilty of both. (Have I mentioned how human I am in this post?) If we dwell on the things we don’t have or the things that could have been, we miss out on the amazing what’s-to-comes that the Lord has for us.
This is something I hum to myself on days when I need that reminder (aka. I’ve been singing it all day today haha):
When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say It is well, it is well, with my soul.
This is a hymn about faith. About trusting so deeply in God that “WHATEVER” comes is met with peace and confidence that the outcome is good. And my human nature gets in the way of this truth big time. Praise Jesus for grace! Praise Him for loving me even when I act like a two year old that was told “no”! Praise God for knowing what I need and for not bending to my expectations… because what I expect is not always my best… and I would be missing out on so many blessings if I always got my way.
Take some time to read Romans 8. It wrecked me in the best way today. Especially verses 26-28:
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
That is such good stuff. Lord, help me in my weakness. Give me faith to trust you more and more and more.
Whew. Maybe I’ll learn it one day, ya’ll. But until this I’m going to keep thanking Him for loving me through my terrible two’s. Even so, it is well with my soul.