Plan B
Often making goals requires taking risks. You are embarking on something you've possibly never done before. It's new, it's exciting, and should be a challenge. If it were easy, if it were comfortable, if it were safe, there would be no risk involved. But still we, or at least I, would hope it wouldn't be too difficult. I’d hope that there would be no sweat, no tears, no embarrassment, and no pain because let's face it, we human beings are quite fond of comfort. I would like instant achievement but if that were the case, I believe that it would no longer be a goal; no longer a risk. I'm learning that it's okay to fail but that that also doesn't mean the goal is in complete failure mode. Maybe a little bump in the road has put you in yellow light mode. Maybe you've needed to slow down, take a detour, or re-evaluate things but it is rarely a necessity to make a complete stop. There is always time and grace to keep going.
I learned this through a little incident I like to call, 'The day I hit my head' when I embarked on my goal to learn how to ski. This happened about three years ago when I was in Austria volunteering at a bible school located in the Alps. I often go back to this lesson when fear begins to step in as I walk toward goals.
So here you have it... The Day I Hit My Head
I decided before the winter season began that it was essential I learn how to ski during my time in the Austrian Alps. Not essential because, “Oh hey, I'm living in the Alps for 9 months! I should really try skiing one time,” but because I LITERALLY lived across the street from the Gondola station. I could ski for free (pass and equipment included) and I worked alongside ski instructors who were friends and happy to help me learn how to ski almost any day of the week. If I were to leave Austria and never try skiing, I'd regret it without a doubt. So I think you can all agree, I had no excuse not to. I had snowboarded once 13 years ago and had done a little bit of water skiing but none of that really enhanced my confidence in any sort of ability I may or would may not have. I was to find out! In the Fall, myself and 3 others decided we should take a morning out and get familiar with white hills just behind where we were living. Two of my friends had skied just a few times before and the other was a ski instructor so he knew what he was doing, of course, and was willing to get me kick started.
I was terrified and wanted to pee my pants but turns out I was in for an unexpected, pleasant surprise as I found it easier than I thought it would be. I was feeling pretty good and my friend that was teaching me said, "I can't believe you've never skied before!" I said thank you, feeling even better than before and gave myself an imaginary pat on the back.
It was only about 5 minutes later when things got a little more speedy than I would have desired and I lost control. All sense in my brain apparently decided to go on vacation (anyone in the right frame of mind would have just turned the other way), and my body flung itself into the forest like a squawking flamingo...if flamingo's squawk. I'm not sure. The first thought I remember having was, “Oh, this is a strange feeling” as I tumbled down the hill unable to stop myself on my own and then SMACK! I hit my head on a tree hard and then I thought, “That's not good”. I wondered what it was like to have a concussion and then asked myself, “Karin, are you okay?” THANK THE LORD, I was wearing a helmet. I would've been out like a light if I hadn't. Seriously.
After a minute, I realized I was okay and that all my limbs were still intact and my brain hadn't been too rattled. A nice elderly German man apparently saw my gracious, awe-inspiring, Olympic move, and came to my rescue. Unfortunately, I was a little more of a load than he probably anticipated plus my ski was behind and adjacent to a tree so he could only pull me out so far before my ski stopped me from going any further. He began to wave down someone else and by this time I couldn't stop laughing to myself. I just lay there in the snow helpless and wondered what my 3 friends were thinking because of my sudden disappearance. The second man came down to me, took off my skis, and pulled me out to freedom! My friends took a sigh of relief as they saw my beloved yellow snow pants immerse from the snowy forest. All was well but it was definitely time for some Glühwein. We chatted, laughed, and relaxed in an Austrian Hut overlooking the Alps as my heart grew even more thankful after discovering the bigger than expected dent in my helmet. After that day I went skiing many, many more times. I had a French, Danish, German, and 2 Austrian instructors help me. It was quite the experience. I had days I wanted to quit and days I couldn't wait to get back on the mountain. I had days when I thought this is not for the little piano playing, ballerina dancing, picture drawing me and then I had days when I thought, “Hmm...I could probably qualify for the Olympics one day.” ...Okay, maybe not. I skied all Winter. I couldn’t give up. My brain was still intact so there was no excuse to put on the red light.
I wrote a bit about New Years in my last post. That was 2.5 months ago now. Wait. Did you forget? Or are you already wallowing in your failure to succeed in your New Year's resolution? New Year's Day is every day in my opinion. I'm learning it's okay to make goals and take risks on the other 364 days of the year too!
Of course wanting to learn to ski is a different kind of goal and risk than maybe the more serious things in life. I sit here now thinking about the rest of the year and I get butterflies thinking about the risks I might need to take. It's always nice to know the outcome before doing something, saying something, going somewhere, but just like me learning to ski, I would have had no idea whether I'd be good or bad at it or even just enjoy skiing or not it if I never had tried. It's impossible to know the outcome beforehand. Getting somewhere requires moving so I'm learning to just keep moving forward in the uncertainty and believing that God is NOT a SAFE God but He is TRUSTWORTHY and I am safe in HIS hands.