10,000 Likes

It’s Wednesday. It’s 8:00pm and this blog post is supposed to be good to go by early Friday morning and I’m tired. I decided to stay home from work today due to an apparent gastral virus (who would of thought that was a real thing?) and a foggy head full of headaches. I’d been planning on writing on something quite specific but the topic has taken a turn that I was not expecting. So, here y’all go I am just going to lay it out on the table.

Two things have been on my mind lately:

My grandfather…he passed away over two weeks ago.
Living for Jesus or living for myself? It’s a daily struggle. ALL ABOARD THE STRUGGLE BUS!

I was originally ONLY going to speak about my grandfather and his influence on my life, but then something happened today and I am actually quite ashamed about it. But, once it happened I immediately thought of my grandfather and God’s impeccable timing.

What do y’all do when you’re sick? I basically stay in bed (try to sleep it off), drink copious amounts of tea (honey lemon ginger tea; it’s the bomb.com), and of course cruise the Facebook and Instagram because being sick is boring. As I was cruising Instagram I somehow wound up going down this rabbit hole. I was Alice and somehow had entered this strange world but really it was not that strange. In reality, the posts that I was looking at were from women or ministries quite like She Captivates. In fact, one of them (at least the girl’s account) had a similar name. Granted it was not the exact same name as She Captivates but I can admit that this person’s likes and responses were very high. And at that moment in time, my heart and my mind shut down when I saw this account’s number of likes and responses. Granted, the girl had amazing photos and insight so who could blame folks for liking and communicating. But, we nearly had the same name and a love for Jesus but somehow this person was getting more attention. And my heart sank and my thoughts immediately turned to this: “How could this be? Was I not loving Jesus enough like this girl? Was I not showing Jesus to those around me on the daily? Was this a punishment? We prayed over this name, was this not the correct name?” Literally, this was me shutting down and then the tears.

I am sure you have been there. We all have. It’s embarrassing but I felt hurt and betrayed by God.

But, then my grandfather came to mind. He was pretty amazing. He could not tell you a lick about Instagram but if you asked for a dollar he would give it to you without question. He was quite selfless and never asked for anything in return. And, he loved me fiercely without question. He did not have a blog nor believed in organized religion. Seriously, y’all he was not a fan of organized religion and he grew up in a Jewish household and marriage. But, one thing he knew was how to treat people respectfully with a loving heart. He didn’t help others to show off or gain accolades he did so discreetly. I think if my grandfather had been born during biblical times he would have loved hanging out with Jesus; because Jesus shook things up. Jesus looked at the intentions of the heart of man and so did my grandfather. It wasn’t a scoreboard of “I am better than you tasks.” And y’all that’s what I forgot in those few moments today. I started thinking more of myself than others. Ministry is a funny thing and it’s a beautiful thing. It can be a humbling journey but can also lead to roads with slippery slopes that can be easily crossed. Today I crossed that line and the jealousy monster reared its head because I thought I deserved more. But, in reality I don’t deserve more than anyone else. My grandfather taught me that because he lived it.

So, this post is dedicated to all you ladies or gents out there who have a blog or Instagram that was formed because Jesus placed something bold and beautiful on your heart. Do NOT stop posting and do NOT stop writing because you have only a couple of likes or there is not enough traffic on your website. God does not make mistakes and does not place these things on our hearts for funsies. They are serious. They are life changing; even if it ultimately only ends up affecting one person. God’s reasons to do things are so much higher in wisdom than what we can comprehend. “Likes” are diddly squat compared to loving others. No amount of “likes” or followers on Instagram proves your worth or God’s worth. His love and loving/blessing others because of God is priceless. Recognition is conditional attention but God’s love is unconditional-always. His timing is perfect and it does not always look how we want it to be but it is always good.

I will leave you with this, my grandfather loved without expecting any recognition and people noticed. He lived it. We can do the same.

Psalm 42:5-6

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my Savior and my God!”

Psalm 96:8

“Give to the Lord the glory He deserves! Bring your offering and come into His courts.”

Romans 12:9

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”

Mark 12:31

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.’” (Loving God being the first commandment.)