Even in Alaska

Hello there! My name is Kelsey Cotton and this is my first opportunity writing for She Captivates and I am so honored for the chance to tell a little of my story.

If there is one word that best sums me up, it would be “idealist.” For as long as I can remember, I have loved to dream up perfect scenarios for my life. As a little girl, I would imagine how I would meet my husband and we would have seven perfect children. As a teenager, I would fantasize about my long-time crush noticing me in the most romantic, and cliché, of ways. Once I met my now husband, we began imagining our lives together and where we wanted to settle down. After a few years of dating, we decided our dream was to someday move to The Last Frontier; Alaska. We both had this idea of Alaska as this beautiful and untouched paradise where we would live in a large log home near the water. My husband would hunt and catch fish and I would raise our outdoorsy family. Just a side note: I am not at all outdoorsy so this was a little out there. This was our dream, and eventually our goal. We prayed and we meditated on this goal. We asked God throughout the first few months of our marriage to make that dream a reality and in April of 2015, He did just that. My husband is an Officer in the Army and before commissioning, he got to choose a top ten list of where he wanted to get stationed. Alaska was our number two pick. We prayed and God answered that prayer in the most literal of ways. A year and a half later, my sweet husband and I are three months into our big adventure, and man, have we had some talks with God about our choices.

While I would love to continue this story with anecdotes of how we have loved every minute of living in Alaska, I simply cannot do that. To put it plainly, Alaska is nothing like what I imagined it would be. The endless ideas I had of beautiful summers in our large log home were quickly replaced by thousands of mosquitoes that attacked us as we unloaded our moving truck into our one story ranch home. Fresh air and wide open spaces were replaced by the dense smog of the industrial town near us. Nothing was what I had hoped it would be and I quickly began to question myself, and sadly, my God and why He would allow this to happen. My disappointment turned to depression, which thankfully sparked some conversation between myself and God. Much of my end of the conversation involved complaining, which I am not too proud to admit. But as usual, His patience with me did not waver.

Over the first two months of our life here, I questioned our decision nearly every day while simultaneously asking for a miracle. I did not really know what that miracle looked like but I knew I needed it. Friends, maybe? A job? Finally, I resorted to a prayer something like this: “God, please send anything that will make this easier.” I am guessing that I am not the first person to pray in this way. I am also guessing that I’m not the first person to be surprised by God’s response. I did not immediately gain friends with whom I could commiserate, and the doors to a job did not open up for me. Instead, my husband took notice of my struggle to acclimate to our new home. While I felt so far away from friends, from family, and from everything I knew, my husband clung to me, reminding me of His love and steadfastness. Not only this, but he came up with practical and truly helpful ways for me to make my time in Alaska more enjoyable. I believe he did this for several reasons, perhaps the most important being that my husband takes the vows that he said on our wedding day very seriously. We are not only there for one another through the easy parts, we are there for each other through the ugly, difficult, depressing times. He takes God’s command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church literally. He loves me when I’m doing well, when I’ve stumbled, and need a little help.

I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. It was a harsh reality when I got exactly what I wanted and it ended up feeling like the worst thing that could happen to me. But God graciously used what felt like a horrible situation as a chance to strengthen mine and my husband’s marriage; something I am so grateful for. I am happy to report, in the last month, God has opened many other doors through a military wives’ bible study where I have made several wonderful friends. Even when my faith wavered in God’s plan, He was working for my good, as He always is. My friends, it is so true, God’s goodness is everywhere, even in a north Alaskan town.