I D E N T I T Y

My name is Megan Thomas. When I was asked to be a guest writer I thought, “Yap, God is truly in the business of using the unqualified!” Just a little background; when I asked my auntie to do a few counseling sessions with me, she first wanted me to write a response to one of her blog posts called "why identity matters". I thought sure no problem. It turned out it was no easy task. However, six months later I not only wrote about why identity matters but I was able to sift through and put to paper what my identity is...To determine why identity matters requires a great deal of self reflection, exploring the various factors that make up one's identity; genetics, values, beliefs, social factors, culture, life experiences, abilities, personality, passions and spirituality.

Here is a little reflection of myself: I am a five foot four, dark brown haired, green eyed, one hundred and twenty pound, twenty-seven year old female. Loyalty, honesty, maintaining a strong moral code, as well as graciousness and kindness are character traits that I value greatly. We will all falter and at least scrape our knees walking through life. But I believe the bottom line is "Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one goes to the Father but through Him." John 14:6. Being a nurse helps to satisfy my inner social butterfly and also promotes a lifestyle of caring, constant learning and serving. Since my career can be incredibly demanding physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, it gives me a sense of accomplishment in those exact areas.

The saying "it takes a community to raise a child" rings truer in my life than most; growing up as a member of a large loving Italian family set a strong foundation for the building blocks of my identity. From values and beliefs to passions and spirituality; from what was right, wrong and important was instilled on a daily basis. Upon reflection I have realized that family, much of where my identity arises from is also what has rocked my world through some significant life experiences. For instance, my parents divorced when I was 11. Although it was devastating at the time it is a part of life; my life – me. You can either run from it or learn from it.

After all, "Character is not born of stillness. It requires the hammer blows of affliction." -Charles Swindoll.

Through being a child of divorce it allowed me to practice the innate responsibility (I felt) to protect my loved ones. Also, this is when I realized my values of loyalty, honesty and a strong moral code. This experience also showed me that I had the ability to overcome and courage to stand for the truth. Another significant life experience took place when a pastor and father figure of mine let me down and others immensely; therefore abdicating both of those roles in my life. From this I learned that my faith cannot be dependent on anyone but myself and God. A priceless life lesson: People fail, that is human nature. But, my Heavenly Father never left my side, even when I placed the blame on Him. What initially shook my faith eventually strengthened it. Sometimes life experiences are not due to human failure. Those situations are harder to accept because there is no answer to the question “why?” When my Uncle Terry passed away that was a question that couldn't be answered. Through Terry's life and his passing I have learned much. If you live your life with purpose and great intent the legacy you leave behind in the people you love will continue long on after you are gone. A long life is no guarantee. When it comes to love choose a partner that will assist you in fulfilling your destiny. Love them with all of your heart because you do not know when God will call them home. But most importantly, he (Terry) also taught me how to make a damn good margarita! (Just kidding, but really I make really good margarita’s because of Terry.)

When forming one's identity it is crucial to have wise council. Through all of these life lessons I have had incredible support networks, among them two amazing women. My mom and my aunt have helped guide me through and navigate some tough terrain. Without their wisdom, strength, resilience, accountability, grace and the example they set I would not be the woman I am today. When I think through what I have said so far it is evident what my passions and spirituality are. What I have learned through examining WHY identity matters and the factors that makes up my identity is that I have a strong sense of self. However, looking back through my life I recognize that as strong as my identity was I lost sight of that when I lose sight of God. When I have my eyes set on Him I see myself through His eyes and know my worth as a child of God, I have the strength I need to withstand the hard knocks of life. When I lose sight of Him my identity does not come from within. I end up making poor decisions that do not accurately reflect my worth. I search for external validation. The truth though is no earthly thing or being can support my identity like God can. If I do not live my life with God at the center of my identity I will never come close to filling the destiny He has in store for me. And that is truly my heart’s desire, to fulfill my God given destiny! Since I figured out how important it is to have God at the center of my life it has made it easier for me to surrender my will to Him. A wise person told me "destiny waits in the place of surrender" and how true that is. The beautiful thing is that once I started surrendering my will I have been blessed with peace, joy and contentment like I have never felt before. That's not to say the flesh still doesn't win sometimes, but even then God has a beautiful way of using those times to show His goodness to myself and others!

With love,

Megan